Post 5- "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately, but am having a hard time formulating them into anything yet. I have been reading in Galatians and Ephesians and so my mind has been on the church and the Holy Spirit a lot. Just been pondering how short this life is and what I am doing for the Lord. What am I doing that is making a difference for His kingdom. I am being challenged in my walk to be more bold and bring the Lord up in normal conversation.That's really hard for me, and I don't know if its the fear of their opinion, or the fear that they will have questions I don't have the answer to or fear I won't know how to introduce the topic...am I ashamed of Him? Something I ask myself, if I am not, then why don't I say what is in my heart? Why don't I tell everyone I meet about the joy God fills me with each morning? What holds me back? This is an area God has been convicting me heavily in, and I can't say I am improving by much, in fact I don't know if I am improving at all, but I feel a great stirring within me to be more bold, to be more willing, to tell people about the Hope I have in Christ.

I was homeschooled from  fourth grade up and graduated with a co-op of other homeschooled seniors. There were about 20 of us. Last week one of the girls I graduated with died of a seizure. This has been on my mind a lot this past week. I didn't really know her well, I had never made the effort to be her friend, because I thought I knew what kind of person she was, and I didn't think she was a good candidate for a friend of mine. What a judging person I am. She is dead, and I will never know until I see her in heaven, what kind of person she really was. I never listened to what was in her heart, I just judged what I saw and what I thought I knew. Maybe I was right on some of the things I thought about her, but ultimately that doesn't matter, what matters is that I never even made the effort to see where her heart was. This has been very convicting for me.

What does God ask of us? He asks that we love Him. If we Love Him, we will follow after Him and His commandments, and we will share Him with everyone. So why is this one thing He asks of us- to love Him- so very difficult for most of us?

We have this fire and this passion to reach the lost, to save the world, and yet something holds us back, and we live our common lives without stepping out of the glass box we've chained ourselves to. God has set us free, free from all bondage, what keeps us from embracing that freedom and living our lives in a supernatural way? It doesn't have to be something huge. Something small like giving the lady at Wendy's a tract is Huge! Don't believe me? Try doing it. Its hard. Its hard when you see people or have customers at work to not just end the conversation with "have a nice day," but to add "God Bless you" these seem like small insignificant things. But you wanna know how I know they are not small and insignificant? Because if they were- satan wouldn't care. It wouldn't be sooo hard for us to do if it was no big deal. Our hesitation is satan trying to keep us from living our every day surrendered and on fire for the Lord.

I think I have mentioned before that I have struggled a lot with doubts throughout my life. Doubts of God's existence etc.. its so weird to me because I even will wonder if I really believe or if I have deceived myself into just thinking I believe. I know that sounds weird, but I guess its the whole "am I really changed?" and with the way my flesh rears up sometimes, its not wonder. However, Christ's victory in my life, and the fact that its a fight, and not just a losing battle everyday is evidence of His work in me. Sometimes I just have to quiet the questions inside of me that want to created fear and hesitation and simply trust God that He is true, and that my faith and salvation are real and sincere and that I am changed. These are matters of faith, and I need to pray for God's gift of faith a lot more than I do.

I have been also going through the Gospels on podcast on my drive to school, and am now in Acts. And something that has been piercing my thoughts a lot is the question, "If I had lived when Jesus was a man on earth, would I have believed?" My flesh tells me I would not have, but my spirit asks me why I would not, if I believe now. It is hard for me to understand, I have loved the Lord and believed in Him for so long, I don't even remember what drew me to Him. I know that sounds strange, but I grew up in a christian home and accepted the Lord when I was 5. I don't remember honestly what first made me love God. I know that many times I turned to Him out of fear of damnation, out of prayer for rescue from Hell. I guess the point I am trying to get at is, since I don't really remember what is was that brought me to the Lord, it is hard for me be able to see what my actions might have been on the day Jesus walked this earth. Perhaps it is something I am not to ponder, something I can never know, something best left alone, but it is something that weighs on my spirit, for I want to believe that no matter what circumstance or time that I would always follow God. My spirit says I would, but my flesh says I am sinful and would rebel. I don't know why I share this really, its just something that has been in my thoughts now and then, I suppose it really comes down to me searching out my salvation and what is within me, what forces battle, who is and will win, and what my true desires and motives are.
It is a quest for truth.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."
"For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."
" You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love."
"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."- Galatians 5

Is the way I live my life focused on my reputation- so that others will like me, or is it determined by my availability to to share the gospel with them? In other words, do I live every moment, is every action for other's to take pleasure in? Or is everything I say and do for the sole purpose of enhancing Christ's Kingdom?

" Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ"
 "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace  which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence,  having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself,  that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory."
" In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory."- Ephesians 1

Anyways those are some of the things on my heart lately. Please feel free to leave comments on what God has been teaching you or any thoughts you have on these matters! :) God Bless!

Blog Post 4- Titanic and William Wilberforce- what I have been thinking on this week.

I was reading this the other night in "Passion and Purity" by Elizabeth Elliot.

"Servile, and base, and mercenary, is the notion of Christian practice among the bulk of nominal Christians. They give no more than they dare not withhold; they abstain from nothing but what the must not practise. When you state to them the doubtful quality of any action, and the consequent obligation, to desist from it, they reply to you in the very spirit of Shylock, “they cannot find it in the bond.” In short, they know Christianity only as a system of restraints. She is despoiled of every liberal and generous principle: she is rendered almost unfit for the social intercourses of life, and is only suited to the gloomy walls of a cloister, in which they would confine her. But true Christians consider themselves not as satisfying some rigorous creditor, but as discharging a debt of gratitude. Theirs accordingly is not the stinted return of a constrained obedience, but the large and liberal measure of a voluntary service. " Real Christians by William Wilberforce

SO a few nights back I was watching Titanic with a friend of mine. I love that movie but for the first time I caught something which I had never contemplated before. One thing was when Rose, towards the end of the movie stated, "Jack saved me, in every way a person can be saved." Of course I disagreed but then I began to really think about something. The one thing that really hit me about the relationship between Jack and Rose that I find beautiful is that He sets her heart free. Now of course this really got me thinking, because I know no man can set my heart free, only God can. Now, God and Jack are very different, so I am not saying Jack necessarily represents Christ in Titanic, but there are definitely some similarities which I found fascinating and are causing me to see their love story in a different way.

Ok so the first time they meet, Jack saves Rose. How does he do this? By basically showing her that someone cares, He says, "You jump, I jump." Maybe I am stretching this a little, but the first thing God does is show us He cares, that we matter to Him; He tells us we have purpose and meaning, and not to throw our life away. He then shows her a different world, maybe not what I would call a very moral world, LOL, but just a free way of life, he shows her that her life could be different, free from the chains that people have placed on her, the burdens she bears.

She then tells him the next day she can't see him anymore. He tells her, "They've got you trapped, Rose, and you're gonna die if you don't break free." Isn't that how we were? captive to Satan and sin and destined for death if not freed? But we had to break free, we of course, couldn't do that on our own, but we had to choose Christ.

Ok next, what happened? Oh yea, she changed her mind. He didn't force her, Christ doesn't force us, our love must be a choice. Did you notice, he takes her back? He doesn't reject her but stands by her, even though she had rejected him earlier. He was patient. How many times did we have to hear the gospel before we accepted the Lord? Was it the first time? Have there been times we rejected God? But He always was forgiving and patient. They fell in love. But then he was accused of stealing from her, she felt she couldn't trust him. the world accuses God, it says that He causes suffering, that He can't be all good and loving. We, like Rose, have to come to the point where we choose to trust and believe Him, take a leap of faith and place our lives in His hand, which is where the next part comes.

Next part of the story, you have Rose being talked into going into the lifeboat, now this prob isn't completely accurate picture since Jack tells her to go. However, this scene forces her to choose:,  life without Jack, or possible death with Him. Is our life more important than our relationship with Christ? Paul said we are to lose our life to gain Christ. Our life, if God isn't in it, is worth nothing, we have to see that even if it means death, having that relationship with Christ is more important. Rose literally jumps out of the lifeboat and into Jack's arms, she takes a leap of faith and places Her very life in His hand. Then what? Oh yea...Satan pursues us like crazy and we end up in crisis after crisis, trial after trial. We pass people who have chosen death, and Christ prods us on to continue, not to look back or linger. "when she sees Mr. Andrews and Jack hurries her to keep going.”

Through Jack's death- Rose gets that new life, she gets a new name, his name. Rose tells this story and changes people's views on what happened on the Titanic. Jesus Christ died and rose again, through His resurrection He gave us life and freedom from the chains of sin. He gave us His name- we are Christians, for Christ is within us. When we tell the story of what God has done for us, it changed people's lives and the way they see life and the Lord. We are free. God has set our hearts free. No man can set your heart free, so when you watch Titanic next I encourage you not to see Jack and Rose's relationship and think that you should find a man who does that for you, because the fact is, only one man will ever set your heart free, and that man is Jesus Christ and He has done above and beyond what Jack did for Rose.

So anyways just a thought I had the other day, maybe it is off, I don't know I think its cool, it makes me think of the story a little different, I hope I am not placing symbolism where it is not, I just think its amazing that Jesus's image and story is so intertwined throughout our lives, creation, and even movies that were made by men who do not believe in Him. It really shows how Amazing God is, the things He uses to paint His picture and leave His fingerprint. Because everything in this world is the distorted image of Him, stained by sin, yet we catch glimpses of who He is. May God Bless you and Reveal His hand in your life each day, opening your eyes to His glory.

Post 3- very long. :) pleasing God=Big Concept

            As Christians, we are to be set apart from the world. But what does this mean? One could answer two different ways. 1. Don’t be like the world, (don’t do what the world does.) 2. Be different from the world (do what the world doesn’t) Do you see the difference? According to my Sociology class, which for the record isn’t a favorite class, in our culture, there are two different types of norms. There is proscriptive, and prescriptive. Proscriptives are “should nots” or prohibited actions. Prescriptives are “shoulds” and prescribed like medicine. I think it’s a similar thing with our faith, there seems to be two different ways at looking at being separate or set apart from the world, there is the proscriptive view and the prescriptive view.

This is something I am still mulling over. I tend to think it needs to be a balance of both because if we focus only on what we shouldn’t do, we will completely miss being effective for the kingdom because we do not act of what we believe. In James it says, “Faith without actions is dead.” However, on the other hand if we do all the shoulds that our Christian faith tells us to, but still practice sin, we would be hypocritical. It would be like doing all the things the Bible tells you to without not doing all the things the Bible tells you not to do. So for instance helping the widows, but lying to your brother.

Here is my thought, both views are important, they are both correct, but should we focus on one or the other? No, I would argue not. I think that us being set apart from the world isn’t so much just about what we “do” or “don’t do” although that obviously is part of it and necessary to being set apart. I think our being set apart from the world should be focused on pleasing God, because when it is, we do what the Bible says and we don’t do what the Bible says not to do, because we want to please God.

 And that’s where I was trying to go with this. In the above statements, when I fist thought of them, the first thing that struck me was the two different attitudes that come with them. I think for the majority of my teenage life I held the first attitude, which was one of trying to find those lines between right and wrong. I, for a long time, unconsciously would try to get as close to the line without crossing it. I think this is something that most of us still struggle with in certain areas of our lives. However, God has renovated my thinking in the last year in a remarkable and miraculous way, He has said to me that’s it not about just “not doing what’s wrong” and even more its not just about “doing what’s right” its SO much bigger! God has told me that it’s about following Him no matter what and being willing to surrender anything in my life, simply because He asks. That’s a BIG concept. In my life, that has had a lot to do with compromises. I realized suddenly how much I had compromised in small areas. Maybe it was watching a movie that “wasn’t bad” or listening to music that “didn’t cuss”.  You see those are things that the Bible doesn’t directly address. We often find areas the Bible appears to be gray on- like piercings and tattoos, etc.. But the Bible shouldn’t have to say everything you can and can’t do, it’s not a rule book for your life. It’s a guide to living your life to please God, it points you to God- and He is the answer to those questions. That requires a relationship, it requires you to be in communication with God, it requires you to sometimes pray, “God, how do you feel about this? Is this something that will bring You glory?”

I hope this is making sense, but what I am trying to say I guess is that God wants all of us, surrendered completely to HIS WILL. That means surrendering and giving up something, even if you can’t see anything wrong with it, because He asked. It means not being angry with Him for taking someone or something in your life that was good, even when you can’t find a reason for Him to have taken it. In essence, it’s all about what my older sister told me a while back. She was reading a book called ‘pleasing God’ and she told me that we are to live our lives to please God. That means examining our actions, decisions, and choices in light of what will please Him. Instead of saying, “Well, is this a sin? Is this wrong? Will I go to Hell for it? Will it ruin my witness?” or even, “Is this what the Bible says I am supposed to do?” It goes beyond those, saying, “Will this bring Glory to God? Will it edify me? Will it build up others and enhance my witness?” This is a hard thing to do. It’s something I wrestle with regularly, and I am painfully aware of how far I have to go. You see, living your life to please God does mean that you try to avoid sin and that you abstain from doing things that will ruin your witness, it means all of that, but it’s about the heart attitude and your willingness to give all for the sake of our Lord. When you stop thinking about what you should or shouldn’t do and ask if something is going to edify you and draw you closer to God, you’ve stopped looking at the value of that item, but have negated its value compared to the value of your relationship with Christ.

Here’s another way to look at it, my youth pastor said, “You are either growing closer to God, or moving further away from Him, there is not cruise control to your Christian walk.” If in your life, you are focused on not falling further away from God, you are at great risk for Satan’s attacks, because you’re trying to stay where you are and that doesn’t really work. You will probably fluctuate a lot day-to-day, move backwards, move forwards, backwards forwards, but you’re really getting nowhere, just covering the same ground. However, if you’re looking ahead and trying to find ways to draw closer to God, new ways to know Him, new understandings of who He is, then you’re drawing closer to God.

It’s not wrong to try to stay away from that line of what is wrong, and its not wrong to try to not sin. However if you aren’t also looking for ways to grow closer to God, it doesn’t really profit you any because overall you aren’t moving closer to God, your just trying not to fall further away. You’re looking behind you at the sin God has freed you from, and asking what is going to pull you back and what isn’t instead of asking what you can ditch so you can get closer to God. It’s that balance of being content in your relationship with God, BUT not being so content that you don’t long, yearn, and strive for more of Him.

Well, I know this was QUITE wordy and long, sorry about that, if you got this far, I thank you for bearing with me and caring about my thoughts. J These are some big concepts and they are ones I am still working through myself, so hopefully this made sense. If you have thoughts on the matter or disagreements please share, I appreciate any wisdom you can give on the subject. God Bless! <3

Post numero 2

2 Corinthians 4: 7- 12 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. ⁸ We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— ¹⁰ always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. ¹¹ For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. ¹² So then death is working in us, but life in you.

Read this in my morning devotions. :)

My First Blog, Post 1#

           I wrestled with whether or not to create a blog for quite a few months now, feeling like I should have some sort of focus for a blog, some reason to make one, and I couldn't find one. However, I have now, and so I have begun, this blog I dedicate to the LORD. In it, I will post the things that He is placing on my heart and revealing to me, the things He teaches me. Each week it seems, there is something new I am faced with, and God constantly is revealing Himself and His truth, if we simply seek Him and look for His hand in our life. All my life I have struggled and wrestled with doubts about my faith, but I have finally come to the point where God has shown me that doubts, questions, fears, they will always come, but that He will always be there, and that in the midst of turmoil and uncertainty, I can trust Him, and I can stand on His truth, and know that even though I may not know the answer to the question, my faith is strong enough to withstand the winds of Satan. I do not say that lightly, for on my own, my faith is feeble, and I know there will yet be days where I feel as though my foundation is shaken, however, God is the provider of faith, and He will hold me tight, no matter what lies ahead. I find peace in that truth, and I find hope, that I don't have to fear the future.

           A while back, last year I think it was, I was going through a really hard time in my walk with Christ, I was filled with uncertainty, doubt, and fear, overwhelming fear, I was scared of the questions Satan threw at me, scared I didn't have the answer, and scared my faith wouldn't survive. During that time, a woman from my church spoke to me words that I have held close since that day. She told me that I didn't have to be afraid to question God, that I didn't have to fear questions and doubts, but that when they come, to pray that God would reveal Himself to me. She encouraged me that He is faithful to do just that if we ask. I have clung to those words and their truth so many days since then. I have learned that there are time when all we can do is cling to God and His truth, when we feel our world is upside down and there is no ground beneath us. And I have seen God's faithfulness in my life, that when I seek and pursue Him, and ask that He would reveal Himself, He does just that.

          I don't know that anything I post on this blog will really interest anyone besides me, perhaps I just enjoy hearing myself talk/think, but there are things God has blown me away with in the last year, truth and revelations that have changed my life, and I want to share them, I want people to know that God wants to be a part of your life every day, and that despite what we may think sometimes, He can and DOES change us when we are willing and surrendered to Him. But you have to take that first step, to trust Him and to lay your life at His feet, because God will not force you to follow Him, its a choice you have to make, but the glorious beauty of Him is that when you make that choice, He works in a supernatural way in your life and changes areas of your heart you thought were beyond hope, and He gives you victory you never thought imaginable. 

Glory and Praise be to the LORD, for His name is Great and Mighty and Awesome and Righteous and Pure; He is Holy.

"Only God is Good. God is Only Good."

"God has a part. You have a part. He won't do yours. And you can't do His."

"Worship in the Spirit of Holiness."

"God's Will lies in Surrender."