Today was beautiful. The sun was out and it wasn't as cold as it has been. I don't dislike winter, but I confess I wish it wasn't so long, by mid-january I am ready for some sunshine and 60-degree weather.
The Christmas holidays were crazy mad wonderful pandemonium as usual, and I think I am still recovering and trying to catch up on sleep, working night shift three nights a week makes that difficult. It was strange being awake during the day today, but it was a nice change, esp since the weather was nice.
In November I got my first job as a Nurse. I am working on a critical care unit- a step-down ICU, so we do continuous heart monitoring and get quite a variety of patients. Not having been on the floor since role transition in May, it was quite the adjustment, but 5 weeks into my orientation now, I am beginning to feel more confident. There are good nights and bad nights, and that will always be true, but every day I am learning to be a better nurse. I have 5 weeks left with my preceptor before I am on my own. I am both nervous and excited, I can't imagine not having my preceptor when I get a really hard assignment load, but I know when the time comes, I will not be alone, and God will give me the grace to perservere.
It is interesting, being a nurse, being new, and yet learning to establish relationships with the rest of the staff. New jobs are always a challenge at first, and I think I had forgotten what it felt like to be the new-bie, but I am beginning to find my place and feel more comfortable with myself as a nurse.
Life throws all sorts of curveballs, and the older I get, the more I wish I didn't have to grow up. I won't sugarcoat it, its way harder than I imagined having my friend's all out of state and moving on with their lives. I don't think I ever really knew we'd all go separate ways, I guess I thought we'd all always be together. It was easier when I was in college, I made new friends that I saw all week long and studied with on the weekends, but that's gone now, and I feel stuck, wondering how I am to meet new friends. Best friends are beginning relationships and I know in the years ahead some of them will be married, and I always knew that would happen, but nothing can really prepare you for the reality that you've grown up.
"For everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven"
one of my favorite passages of the Bible is Ecclesiastes 3, and this verse has comforted me many times through the years, sometimes life is hard, there are times of tears, but there are also times of joy. If things were never hard, we wouldn't appreciate the good times.
I have been reading through Matthew in my devotions, and it has been amazing to really acknowledge who Jesus is and the things He taught. Lately I have been thinking about that a lot, who is Jesus? How can I be more like Him? I must know Him. So while reading Matthew, after each chapter I write in my journal "the words and acts of Jesus" just to remind myself that the words aren't just good information, they are the words of Christ, what He taught the people of Israel in His ministry. I think since I have grown up hearing the scriptures, sometimes I forget to let them sink in, to ponder the power of the Word.
2013 has begun, and I can honestly say that I have no idea what this year will bring. I hope many adventures, much laughter, great conviction, salvation of the lost, and constant communion with God. I am excited when I think of all the things I still want to do and see, and the possibilities are endless, God is in control.
Scripture I read today that really moved me: "what profit is it if a man gains the WHOLE WORLD, but loses his SOUL?"
-that is powerful, nothing in this world that I desire can ever replace my soul, what good are the things that tempt our flesh, if we lose our very life: our soul? I want to ponder that truth when I long for things that will never satisfy me, when I am discontent or seek after my own will.
LOVE THIS SONG, these lyrics are amazing. "You revive me, You revive me LORD, and all my deserts are rivers of joy, You are the treasure I could not afford, so I'll spend myself till I'm empty and poor, all for You, You revive me LORD."
God bless!
